I usually only play MarioKart when I have friends over, but last night I decided it would be a good idea to have some wine and not only play a bit, but also record and narrate the races.
Look, I very rarely drink, so let me have my fun, even if it is ridiculously tame and boring compared to what most people might do while drinking. All things considered, I had a bad week, so tipsy MarioKart is probably the least horrible thing I could have done.
Sharing it with others is … slightly less horrible, probably.
Enjoy, maybe? Or make fun of me, that could be good, too. I did slowly remember how to play! And I only rambled mostly toward the end, when I went off on a tangent about Birdo and Yoshi for… some reason. I don’t know. Apparently I’m very passionate about that topic.
I want it on the record, though, that once I stopped recording and narrating what I was doing and actually paid attention, I got FIRST PLACE AWW YEAH I AM AWESOME and of course I had to take a picture to prove it to everyone.
I chose not to participate in an online MK tournament today, though, because while on my own I appear to be pretty okay, when I play against other people and the screen gets really small, I immediately suck. I forget which screen I’m supposed to be looking at and often follow the wrong player for minutes at a time until I realize that my own driver is two screens over and driving backward and/or into a wall. Ooooops. And I’m baffled by how some people just seem to magically go faster than me when I’m holding down the “go” button the whole time until my thumb hurts and I can’t hold it down any HARDER so why am I not going FASTER because doesn’t this button work like a gas pedal??
(Remember when we were kids and when you’d jump right or something, you’d move your whole controller to the right as though that helped move your character along? It’s like that, except I’m a grown-ass adult so I should know better.)
(But I got FIRST PLACE SO NEENER NEENER I GUESS IT WORKS)